Once upon a time, in a land known as Chicago, a terrible thing happened.  This terrible thing was called the Prohibition.  For those of you who do not know, the Prohibition began in 1919 and ended in 1933.  It made alcohol illegal.  Even though alcohol was now illegal, people, as people do, broke the law.

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There once was a boy named Jerry.   Jerry was a special boy.  Being special is like being average, only you have the ability to be more average than others.  Like I said, Jerry was a special boy.  I’m not just saying that, he actually had a reason, unlike some people.  Jerry had a talent.  Well, I wouldn’t call it a talent (except for

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Markus Shlavonski was a brilliant man.  At age seventeen he entered a top-dollar college, and at age eighteen, he submitted his first essay on the effects of starlight on distant planets.  He became a renowned man and was very famous in the fields of astronomy.  But, as all people do, he aged.  We now look back at

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“Hello, welcome to Cool-io’s Stool-io’s, where we get you your stools.  We offer High quality products and Low prices!”

“Uh, thanks.  So-”

“pick one.”

“wh… what?”

“Do you want High quality products, or low prices?”