In the beginning Bob made a sandwich. Now Joe and Steve were hovering over his new creation and Bob told them to leave, because he thought it tasted good. Joe and Steve got mad and stormed out of Bob’s house. Bob’s sandwich was made with turkey and American cheese on white bread. Bob ate it and said that it was good.
One day in a different part of the universe George was trying to find his socks. He looked in his dresser. He looked under his bed. He looked in the washer, and he looked in the dryer. He looked in his neighbor‘s doghouse, he looked in his neighbor’s dog’s mouth, but could not find them anywhere. He heard chuckling in the back of his mind, as if someone was in there laughing at him. George did not know this, so he yelled out at whoever it was, thinking it was someone hiding around his house somewhere with his socks. He yelled out, “Where are you, have you got my socks. Give them to me. I need them, so I can go to work.”
He heard the laughing again and realized it wasn’t coming from around him, but in his head. He got really scared and ran back inside to get a glass of water.
A voice said, “ Hello, My name is Bob, what is your name?.”
George said, “ I’m George.”
The voice named Bob said nothing else and for a while it was quiet. George went back inside, found his socks on his feet (who would have thought to look there?)and left to go to work.
On the way he hit every red light, almost hit a cat in the road, and finally got to work 7 minutes and 23 seconds late. His boss asked him why he was late and that was when George could finally tell his story to someone. He thought it was a really good story and had been waiting to tell it to someone all morning, wanting to get some sympathy for all his troubles.
George decided to blurt the whole thing out at once, “ I couldn’t find my socks. I looked under the bed, I looked in the dresser, I looked out in the grass, but couldn’t find them anywhere. A voice inside my head laughed at me. He told me he was Bob. Bob’s a stupid name to be called, isn’t it?’ It’s so boring and simple. Who would think of naming a kid Bob?”
Getting no reply, he continued.
“Then I hit every light in the whole entire city. Its like everyone in the Universe is against me and set this up so I would be late and you would yell at me.”
Don said that he didn’t care about any of this and told George to just get to work, because by this time Don was getting mad from all the useless talk when George should be selling hotdogs to the customers. Don yelled at George, “Get your hotdog shirt on and go sell some hotdogs right now or you’re fired.”
George asked Don, “ Don’t you care about what I have to say.” But as soon as George said that, he saw that Don actually didn’t even want to hear any of his story to begin with. He got right to work. He saw some customers coming in right then and said hello to them and asked what they would like to eat today at Don’s Hotdog Company of Springfield, Missouri (he didn’t say all that, I’m just giving you some background, which you probably don’t care about).
Meanwhile Bob was having fun telling some airplane pilots which way to turn and pretending like he was the radio control tower. “Wait,” he said, “go on the other plane landing thingy this one is being used.” The confused pilot listened and ending up clipping a plane taking off from the landing that Bob said was clear. No one was hurt, and since it happened frequently, it was forgotten.
Bob got bored with that and started talking to George again, because George was fun. Bob could already tell that much. George was selling hotdogs at the time and jumped out of his skin when he heard Bob say, “What’s up Georgeee.”
There were two teenagers working today with the much older George. When they saw him jump they laughed at the weird face made by George and joked about how he was going crazy, of course no one else could hear Bob’s remarks. George asked Bob as quietly as he could, not wanting to be laughed at again, why Bob could not be heard by anyone else. Bob said that that it was his ultimate power that made him able to control who heard him.
When George’s shift was over at 5 p.m. he went to see a movie by himself about how the president was shot and a bunch of people had clues to what happened. The president ended up not having been shot at all but instead his double had been shot. The real president ended up being kidnapped. The hero of the movie saved him and everything ended up ok.
But George wasn’t ok. He was the opposite of ok. Some guy named Bob was making fun of him without even being around him. The socks that were on his feet not only did not match, but also were not even his socks. George decided he was going to have to find a way to get away from this “Bob guy“(never call Bob this to his face).
He decided that Bob was not all powerful as he claimed, but had put some radio chip in his head while he was sleeping. He thought if he got off the planet, he wouldn’t hear Bob anymore. He spent all night up trying to think of a way to get enough money to buy a ticket to outer space. He got a really great idea. He went to Hollywood and asked all the celebrities for any extra cash they had on hand, because he was poor. He finally had a few million dollars (yeah, it’s just that easy) for a trip to outer space and while he was on his way his car hit a tree and he was knocked unconscious.
When he woke up he found that he was in a totally different place than when he was on his way to Houston. He was on a really busy street with nonhuman creatures driving cars wildly, with no regard for the laws of physics or the laws of the road, which they weren‘t even on. Their cars were not on the street where he was sitting but in the air above him. He saw two guys with metal sticks with light coming out of them calling themselves Jedi or something. They were chasing someone else who had a gun. They all ran into a bar and George followed them in there. The one they were chasing disappeared as soon as he went in there, but the two “Jedi” sat at the bar. A crazy looking guy with cigarettes asked one of them if he wanted to buy one, but the “Jedi” said he didn’t and actually convinced the man, if he really was a man, to go home to rethink his life. After that George went out to get some air, he heard the dreaded chuckling of Bob again and wondered how Bob could possible have followed him there. “This is crazy,” he said, “ I can’t even go unconscious without Bob following me.”
Bob said hello again (the only polite way to start a conversation), and George, not wanting to be humiliated in front of the large crowd gathering, because the Jedi had found the person they were looking for and were interrogating him, ran away from all the people. One of the weird creatures driving a car looking thing swerved off its intended path and hit George.
George died from a concussion and several broken bones.